Faith?

My co-pilot...and no, I'm sorry to disappoint, but it is NOT Jesus.

Please do not take offense.

Hear me out.

Let's get real....(BTW: "F" Dr. Phil for coining that phrase).

We are here on earth. Period.

We are experiencing life TOGETHER, as fellow human beings.

We may or may not have an idea of who created us, or what our purpose is...and FAITH...well, there's nothing wrong with faith. I have faith.

I also have a realistic understanding that we truly DO NOT know what lies beyond.

We may have all the faith, understanding, belief, or experiences we feel show us the truth.

However, having not died an earthly death before (at least to my knowledge----and for me, the jury's still out on reincarnation.), I cannot, and will not testify that I KNOW where I am going when this mortal body of mine ceases to exist.

Yes, it IS scary. No, I'm not completely OK with it. Yes, I struggle with my understanding of the universe, and what happens beyond this life....

However...I really do feel thats OK. Even healthy to question our existence.

I feel it's more real, than just "believing" we go to a certain place, at a certain time assigned just for us, with people who we've been destined to spend eternity. (Sidenote: the subject of SOUL MATES is a blog entry of it's own...I'll get to that, soon.)

I would rather go with my gut instinct...and venture to guess that YES, we are here for a purpose. Otherwise...why would such a question be in the forefront of a majority of the human race???

......

OK, so I'm not happy with my conclusion either. But it's a start. It's open for discussion. I certainly don't have all the answers, and I'm positive that not a single one of my fellow earth-mates really does either. I feel that some come closer to truths than others...but we all have OH, SO MUCH more to learn. And I have very little tolerance anymore for those who will not open up, just a little bit, and understand there are many view points, and valuable lessons to learn outside of the scope of the individual environment.

For me....I have surrendered to one thing for sure. I KNOW and have FAITH that I will be on a never ending journey of discovery and knowledge....most likely until my last breath. It may ebb and flow, but that is life...and I'm grateful for it.

Order to Disorder

There are many layers to order.

Take painting, for example.

I begin with priming a canvas.

Texture needs to be taken into account. I admit that I have fear from the very start. I want to lay my primer, "just so."

Now, I have a tendency to "lay it on...THICK". It's the Van Gogh in me.

I like texture. I can see it, feel it...I like that texture is tangible.

But, I also know that texture lays a certain foundation.....that is, until I apply a brush.

Then it (the painting) takes on a life of it's own.

Suddenly, my fear goes for it's own ride.

I may surmise that if I lay it on too thick, or too thin for that matter, that the paint will react only a certain way.

Not true.

What I have to remember, is that paint will always win.

Paints are much like water. Organic. Free flowing, with much movement, flexibility, and LIFE.

I need to learn that I should abandon fear, and allow for my soul to engage with the medium of paint.

I need to allow for the layers to build.

I need to allow for mistakes...knowing that (specifically oil paints) are forgiving...they want to be poked, prodded, challenged...into their "home".

What I really need to know and understand...is to allow for mistakes. Or rather, follow the flow.

Let it flow.

It will come.

Ultimately, The journey IS the destination.

(Image: My current painting in progress....SO much more to come.)